Some questions are too important to answer alone
Where does all the love go after someone dies?
The Second Heart was written to be read quietly, but some of its most meaningful moments begin when we talk about it together.
It is short, non-denominational, non-linear, and it never tells anyone to move on. Everything a leader needs to decide is below, and the discussion guide is free to download.
Whether it will work for your group
- Length
- Thirty-one short chapters across five parts. Readable by someone with no concentration left.
- Structure
- Non-linear. Meant to be opened at any page, which suits a group where everyone is at a different point.
- Faith
- Non-denominational. Spiritual in places, never scriptural. Works for a family or a group of any faith or none.
- Tone
- Never mentions closure, stages, or moving on.
- Timing
- Built to be returned to over months, which fits a thirteen month bereavement arc rather than a single reading.
- Loss
- Written for anyone who has lost someone they love. Not specific to one relationship, so a mixed group is not left out.
- Difficult relationships
- The book says plainly that not every relationship was simple, loving or safe. Grief after a complicated relationship is held here too, with room for anger, relief and unfinished conflict. Nobody in your group has to make a relationship sound better than it was.
- Culture and belief
- It says that culture, faith, family and community shape how people understand death, and that its own language is one language rather than the only one.
What group leaders can use
- H.E.A.R.T. Hold, Express, Allow, Remember, and Trust Life Again. Five movements you can take one at a time, in any order, as a shape for a session.
- Five simple practices, one for each movement. These are the parts facilitators tend to use directly with their people, and each one runs in a few minutes.
- A single line at the end of each chapter, which works read aloud to open a session or as a prompt between meetings.
- Notes and sources at the back, citing published bereavement research, and an opening note saying plainly that the book is reflection rather than clinical guidance. Useful if you have a committee to answer to.
A free guide for whoever is leading
Five sessions, one for each part of the book, each with a passage to read aloud, questions to choose from and a line to close on. Plus ground rules, a note on running a group of mixed faith and mixed loss, what to do if someone is in distress, and a single-session version for groups that meet once.
PDF, 10 pages. No cost and nothing to sign up for. It may be copied and shared freely for use with groups.
What is available
- A free sample copy for the person choosing the book. No obligation, and no follow-up unless you want one.
- Bulk copies for twenty-five or more, invoiced directly, for bereavement packets, aftercare boxes and group sets.
- An author visit, by video, anywhere. Book clubs and bereavement groups can have me on the call to talk about the book and answer whatever comes up. There is no fee for this.
Ask for a sample copy
Write to hello@thesecondheart.com and say who you are, your organisation, and roughly how many people you work with. That is enough. A reply will come from me, not from an assistant or an autoresponder.
The Second Heart is a companion, not a substitute for professional support, and it is written to sit alongside whatever care your group already provides.
Still deciding
If you are weighing up several books rather than looking at this one, there is a page on how to choose a grief book for a group that is about the criteria rather than about this book. And how to run a grief book club or support group covers format, ground rules and what to do when someone is distressed.